Breaking the Silence: Confronting PTSD and asking for Help
Updated: Sep 18
Some wounds do not show up on a scan.
After two tours of Afghanistan as a Special Operations Engineer, I came home looking fine and feeling anything but. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder does not announce itself. It moves in slowly. The nightmares. The flashbacks that arrive in a supermarket aisle. The guilt about the mates who did not come home, and the strange shame of being the one who did.
For a long time I did what a lot of veterans do. I blamed everything except what had happened to me. I told myself I was tougher than this. I stayed silent.
Silence nearly cost me my life.
The short version
PTSD often shows up months after coming home, and it rarely looks like what people expect.
The turning point for me was one decision: to stop hiding it and ask for help.
Recovery is real. It takes professional support, honest conversations and healthier ways to cope, and it is worth every step.
What Stepping Out Of The Darkness Actually Took
It started with a single, uncomfortable step. I admitted I was not okay and I asked for help.
Not a dramatic moment. A quiet one. A conversation with a doctor, then a psychologist, then slowly with the people around me. That step led to therapy, to peer support, to learning how my own mind worked, and to replacing the ways I had been numbing myself with things that actually helped.
None of it was fast. All of it was worth it. I have written about the whole arc, from war to collapse to recovery, in Trigger Warning, and about what resilience really means in Confronting Adversity.
If This Sounds Like You
You do not have to have served to recognise this. But if you have, I want you to hear it from someone who has been where you are: the darkness is not the end of the story.
A few things I know now that I wish I had known then:
PTSD is an injury, not a character flaw. It responds to treatment.
Telling one trusted person is the hardest step and the most important one.
You will not be judged the way you fear. Most people are relieved you finally said something.
Professional help works. A GP is the simplest starting point, and for veterans and their families, Open Arms offers free counselling around the clock on 1800 011 046.
How I Can Help
I am not a clinician, and I work alongside professional care, not instead of it. What I offer is someone who understands the terrain. Through my private 1:1 sessions I walk with men who are where I once was, and through my public speaking I take this conversation into workplaces, schools and communities across Australia.
If you want to take the first step, you can reach me through my contact page. If things are urgent, go straight to my crisis support page.
Breaking the silence is not weakness. It is the bravest thing I have ever done, and it is the reason I am still here.
Frequently asked questions
What are the signs of PTSD in veterans?
Nightmares and flashbacks, being constantly on edge, avoiding places or conversations that bring it back, anger that comes from nowhere, numbness, trouble sleeping, and guilt or survivor’s remorse that will not shift. It often shows up months after coming home, and a lot of men blame everything except what happened to them.
How do I ask for help with PTSD?
Start with your GP, who can refer you to a psychologist. If you have served, Open Arms (1800 011 046) offers free, confidential counselling for veterans and their families 24/7, and DVA can fund mental health treatment whether or not the condition is linked to your service. Telling one trusted person is often the hardest and most important step.
Can PTSD be treated?
Yes. Trauma-focused therapies, medication where needed, peer support and rebuilding healthy routines all help, and many people recover fully or learn to manage symptoms so they no longer run their life. I am living proof that the darkness is not the end of the story.
How can Nathan help?
I am not a clinician. I am a bloke who has been through it and come out the other side, and I work alongside professional care, not instead of it. My private 1:1 sessions give you someone who understands the terrain to walk with you, and my book Trigger Warning tells the full story.
Related reading
If you need support right now
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 000.
Lifeline: 13 11 14, text 0477 13 11 14, or chat online at lifeline.org.au (24 hours, 7 days)
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 (24/7)
MensLine Australia: 1300 78 99 78 (24/7)
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 (24/7)
Open Arms, for veterans and families: 1800 011 046 (24/7)
You can also see every option on my crisis support page, including booking an Immediate Assistance call where I ring you within the hour.
Nathan Bolton is a former Special Forces engineer, the author of Trigger Warning, and a men’s mental health speaker and mentor based in Adelaide. He works with individuals through private 1:1 sessions and speaks at workplaces, schools and events Australia-wide.
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